Sunday, October 29, 2006
The things I wonder when I watch TV
Why doesn't someone design a little periscope for handguns so you can shoot around corners without risking your head? Why don't stoves come with built-in smoke detectors, and furnaces come with built-in CO detectors?
I carried a little girl down the escalator at Sears today. Somehow her father and brother went down and she didn't, so I offered to take her. She weighed nothing at all, like a little feather. All those months of carrying Jazzy around have really paid off! It's like superhero training.
This, from a letter in this morning's Sunday Trib magazine, regarding an article on new birth control pills that let us skip our periods entirely: "I pity any woman who feels discomfort or shame regarding the amazing efficiency, abiding mystery, and yes, beauty, of the body that nature gave us. Why would we ever want to stop a natural hormonal process?" First of all, anybody who calls the human body "efficient" is woefully uninformed. Vertebrates are ridiculously inefficient, a big bag of good-enough solutions, redundancies, kludges and ticking time-bombs. Secondly, wtf does "abiding mystery" mean anyway? Beauty, sure, I'll give you that, but there is nothing mystical or lyrical about smelly drippy clots, cramps, and water retention. Whether a woman plans to have children or not, there is NO REASON to feel sloppy and uncomfortable for one quarter of their best years. Headaches are also natural and sublime, but I bet the author takes her share of Tylenol. I say, bring on the drugs.