Thursday, January 12, 2006
So DH is off skiing this week, up to his neck in fresh powder and fresh air and entertaining company, while I slog through life at home with a suddenly increasing school-related workload and an increasingly neurotic senior dog. The dog is especially fun; he has apparently begun to lose some control over bodily functions before I wake up, with the result being I jump awake at 5:30 to yell at him for eating (ugh), and stop him from sitting in, something gross. Then there's the clean-up... It's really not a good way to start the day, and hey, guess what? It's how I've started my day *every day this week*. My heart is constantly torn between "Poor Jazzy, it's not your fault, you're almost 14" and "Dammit, dog, why are you ruining my life?" Then I feel guilty and my mood spirals ever downward. The bright spots: he's still happy and healthy, his spirits are good. In later years I don't want to remember Jazzy as this aging, neurotic thing instead of the happy-go-lucky crackhound he used to be. I hate when people die and their pictures at funerals or on the news are of them at age 80 or so. Is that really how they wanted to be remembered? I'm guessing not.
I may go back later and delete the above. I'm just venting.
As for school, classes started this week, and I have two 500-level classes plus a TA, plus the twin spectres of prelims and the summer collecting season are lurking, plus I'm finally getting more done in the lab. I still don't have any stupid DATA, but I can sense it coming in my future. My first attempt at a cpDNA PCR failed, though, and none of my ITS segments will sequence. Someday I will successfully PCR and sequence one of the no-brainer plant primer pairs. If I haven't gotten them to work yet, does this mean I have less than no brain? Aggravating.
In any case, I'm counting on this being the semester when I get a ton of things done and finally feel like I have some business being in a PhD program. I have to think that once my required courses are done (and I'm nearly there) and my prelim is behind me, the rest of the time I can just focus on my project. I used to scoff at those who didn't want to take classes and just did research all week long -- it is *school*, isn't it?! -- but I'm coming around to their way of thinking. Classes are valuable but geez, they suck up so much time.
All of this will be easier to handle once M. gets home. Not that he can lighten my workload or my doggy nursing home duties, but at least I'll have someone to unload on in the evenings.
Part of my problem may be that I'm eating terribly this week. Over the weekend: leftover spaghetti and pizza alternating until both were gone. Monday for lunch: Power Bar. Monday for dinner: rice and vegetables, really bland and hard to get through despite addition of butter and salt. Felt virtuous and full of fiber. Tuesday lunch: another Power Bar. Dinner: more rice, with a scrambled egg and some cheese mixed in. Really *really* bland, though I had high hopes. Felt virtuous and economical, but a bit nauseous. Wednesday lunch: Wendy's, for the first meat (such as it is) I've eaten in I don't know how long, and fries, glorious fries. Wednesday dinner: spaghettios with franks. Today for lunch we're going out to a cafe. I can feel my cells yearning for some type of elaborate and flavorful sandwich, maybe with some potato chips. Still two more dinners to come up with.