Monday, July 25, 2005
Plus, a bit of mental distress
The thought occurred to me several times over the weekend that I kind of wish I had a regular job like normal people. I really dislike that constant voice in the back of my head telling me I should be working/studying/contacting various experts/mapping/collecting when in fact all I want to do is read and garden and watch movies and relax. I'll snap out of it, I'm sure, but those "Am I doing the right thing?" thoughts are always distressing. I'm fairly certain that much of my attitude is caused by fear over knowing I have to start teaching soon. In four weeks, in fact. I'm sure the first week will suck and then I'll get used to it and it won't be a big deal. I just hope I remember to BREATHE once or twice during the class because passing out in front of undergrads is usually considered a faux pas.
I saw some photos of an "autumn garden" at Craig Bergmann's website today, and was startled by a twinge of happiness at one of the photos, something in reds and oranges with a fall-colored maple tree. Not that I'm in a huge rush for winter, but autumn represents many happy things along with the pretty leaves and asters: the return of a somewhat regular schedule, outings with classmates, and the end of this horrible, horrible heat. Joy is right around the corner.* And, as we learned on "The Office", the key to happiness is joy.
*Not to be confused with "Lucky is coming your way", the amusingly typoed fortune cookie I had at Mark's grandma's 80th birthday party last weekend. Hello, Mr. Lucky!